She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
