I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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