Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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