everyone is single if you try hard enough
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize