just tell him i said nine months
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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