Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
