I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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