I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
