She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You made out with two different species that night
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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