i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
