He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
