put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
