I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
