I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize