before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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