let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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