No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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