Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
