how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
