My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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