..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
