I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
not ubering you a puppy
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