this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize