Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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