it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just gift wrapped bread.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
