I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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