His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
