I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
