So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
