Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
