Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
