idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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