i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
