Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Randomize
