just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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