you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
