You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
