do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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