And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
