You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I could fuck to npr.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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