You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i need some magic done to my vagina
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
