So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
