she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
