Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
