just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
