Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
