After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize