I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize