Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
