this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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