That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
