He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
