That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
