she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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