Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize