I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
