Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
