Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
