Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
