dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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