I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He passed out mid-signature
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
