i can't believe i had my finger in that
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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