you didnt know i had herpes?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I deserve this hangover.
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