If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
