But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
