Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
we're so committed to being not committed
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
