8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just had sex on a roof
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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