i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize