That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
