he wants to bone in the snuggie
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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