u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
