So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
