Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
