the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
