It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
